My boyfriend wants me to send him nude pictures. I don’t know if I should because they could get passed around if something happens. If I do send nude picture how do I send them, like poses? What should I do?
I’m probably the least qualified person to ask about poses, since I’m pretty sure I only know three: Leaning your back against the wall with your arms crossed trying to look cool, leaning against the bar propped up on your elbow trying to look cool, and standing Heisman-style with your arm extended chest level at an approaching person and saying, “Whoa, whoa, whoa…” while trying to look cool. None of those seem likely to be of help in your case, although you’re more than welcome to give them a try.
Some people are more into the nude picture thing than others. I’ve known some guys who go completely nuts trying to get a woman to send them nude photos. I think it’s less about the photos themselves and more about the playfulness/naughtiness of her going through the motion of doing it that turns them on. I’m sure there’s a control component to it as well and some guys find it rewarding to have a woman send one when he asks her.
In fact, a lot of guys seem to have almost a compulsion about sending women pictures of their junk. Some even love to send videos of them jerking off. I personally don’t really understand the appeal of it. Maybe it’s just a quick way to determine if she’s okay with raunchy behavior (and likely DTF) or if she’s going to flip out and call them a perverted creep, saving them from wasting anymore time before moving on to their next victim.
Guys love to show off naked pictures they receive from women. It’s like a trophy or badge of honor, an “adult” version of displaying your baseball card or Hot Wheels collection to inspire awe and jealousy among your friends. There are always exceptions, but any naked picture is almost certainly going to be shown to his friends, if not directly forwarded to them.
My friends and I often hang out places (bars, clubs, restaurants, coffee shops, etc) where we’ve gotten to know the people that work there. It’s not unusual for us to ask a woman we know (guys, please don’t do this to strangers!) to let us check out her phone. Or they might spend time chatting with us when not taking care of other customers, leaving their phone with us when they do. Some places even have rules forbidding employees from carrying their phones on shift, making it convenient to have friends they can leave it with so they can be notified if they get a text or a call. Either way, you can see where this is going.
It’s a playful little game, “Hey, unlock your phone so we can check out your photos.” She’ll tell us no way and we joke about how she must have lots of naughty pictures on it, giving her the chance to roll her eyes in denial, smile mysteriously and shrug, or grin wickedly and nod in agreement. It’s a good way to better understand a person’s level of comfort in that area.
Some women have no reluctance at all, and eagerly hand over the phone to us and wander off, allowing us to look through everything. We might find something, grinning and smirking or just getting really quite and focused, and then she’ll come back saying, “OMG!” and snatch the phone away. Or she might just pretend not to notice us, letting us review all the pictures and sometimes even letting someone forward them to his own phone. Either way, it’s just a game we’re all playing, since they absolutely know what’s on their phone and what we’ll see, and we telegraph what we’re doing in an exaggerated way to allow them time to stop us at any point in the progression.
It all really comes down to what you’re comfortable with. Other people will see the photos you send him and they will almost certainly be forwarded to other people. If you’re okay with that, go for it. But keep in mind that there’s a chance these things will end up online at some point, so it’s a very good idea not to send any pictures that include both your nakedness AND your face. Anyone can post a neck-down photo claiming it’s you, but no one will know for sure unless it includes your face.
If you’re not comfortable with the idea, tell him it’s not something you want to do. If he doesn’t accept that and keeps hounding you about it or threatening to do something stupid like dump you or cheat on you, tell him to fuck off. It’s completely your choice if you want to share that kind of thing, not his. All he can do is decide if that’s a relationship deal breaker for him or not. If it is, that’s probably a pretty good sign that he was the wrong guy for you anyway.
I recommend that you don’t even bother getting into a discussion with him as to why you don’t feel comfortable doing it. First, it’s none of his business, you said no and that’s it. Second, he will fall all over himself promising you that he would never even think of sending it to other people or showing it to his friends. He’ll present a pretty compelling case that might make you decide to believe him. Don’t. He’s lying. He will show them and he will share it. Even if you think he genuinely means what he’s saying at the time, still don’t do it. He’ll change his mind later and you’ll probably see yourself up on some revenge porn website and that would really suck.
If this advice is coming too late and the cat’s already out of the bag, so-to-speak, you’re pretty much screwed. It still might be worth checking out this site: http://www.endrevengeporn.com/
Oh fuck. Don’t get me started on the sexy pics topic. Ok, do get me started. I love talking about this shit.
First of all, any guy I’ve ever met that has asked me to start sending him dirty pics right off the bat turned out to be a huge douche bag. Not to say I didn’t indulge. Why? I guess I’m an idiot. And maybe I just think I’m really hot. The fact of the matter is, I’ve sent enough dirty pics in my life to feed the children of Africa. I know that doesn’t make any sense but whatever. Underneath, though, I’m really not like that. I SWEAR! I’m not sure what inspired me to rationalize sending dudes that kind of shit. A strong possibility is that I enjoy being flattered. Maybe I’m just a conceited bitch. Maybe I have daddy issues. Whatever the case, pictures have been sent.
No, none of my pictures ever got passed around. Luckily the dudes I sent them to weren’t THAT bad. Still, I highly regret ever doing it. Not only do these people still have my pictures, which is just kinda gross, but it also sets a really bad tone for the relationship you have with this person. Instead of considering you a smart, funny, respectable woman, all they can focus on now is the size of your ass and whether or not you’re gonna show the nips in your next picture. Dudes are just a certain way. If you toy around with that section of their brain, the one that obsesses over sex, that’s all they’re going to think about. You will never be able to reverse what you have done. You will never be able to go back and say, hey. I really want you to respect me now. I really want you to get to know my personality. Please. Sit down, let’s have a conversation. Nope. You’re fucked. This guy now considers you another broad to add to his spank tank.
I recently met a guy I was really, really into. Mostly physically. We hung out once and hit it off completely. Again, mostly physically. But hey, being that physically attracted to someone right away doesn’t happen to me that often. Immediately he started asking for pics. Being the impulsive, emotional wreck that I am, I was more than willing. I thought he was the hottest damn thing I had ever seen and what better than to picture him looking at pics of me. Sure, that’s all fine and good, it’s fun for a little while, but I started to realize the relationship we were beginning to have had absolutely no substance. DUH. And what’s a relationship without substance? I’m not interested in being someone’s jack-off material. Needless to say, I started feeling really shitty about myself and cut things off. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so slutty. I wish I had shown this person my redeeming qualities, qualities that don’t live on the surface, instead of just giving it up like an idiot.
I have this friend. She’s a beautiful blonde with an amazing body and gorgeous face. I know every chick says “Omg my best friend is soooo beautiful and gorgeous!” Half the time their friend is twenty pounds overweight and has really bad roots. My friend, she’s a fucking knockout. Not only is she physically attractive, though, her personality is to-die-for and she’s talented as fuck. Well, a few years ago this friend of mine dated a real piece of shit. She happened to send this piece of shit dirty pics. WHILE THEY WERE DATING. This wasn’t some “fling”. This was a serious relationship. Then they happened to break up. One morning, while checking my Myspace, I noticed an array of “bulletins” that were spamming the fuck out of my bulletin section. They were being posted by my friend’s piece of shit ex. They were naked pictures of my friend with degrading and cruel captions. This shit was spreading over Myspace like wildfire. Everywhere I went her voluptuous tits were in my face, bouncing around the walls of Myspace like a beach ball being passed around a teen camp. All of a sudden, the entire Myspace community knew the ins and outs of my best friend’s naked body. She called me crying and upset, horrified. How could this person betray her in this way? Someone she thought she had trusted. A boyfriend who at one time she loved. Well, turns out that’s what happens when you date a meth addict.
My point is, don’t make this mistake. My friend was awesome enough to reach the conclusion of, “Well, at least I look hot.” But not everyone would feel that way. Not only that, but once a picture of your naked body reaches the internet, it’s there forever. You can never get rid of it. It can be passed around for the rest of your fucking life. It can come back to haunt you in job interviews or when you win a Miss America pageant.
Here’s the thing. I don’t think it’s always wrong to send dirty pics. If you’re in a loving, committed relationship, I think it’s a must. But don’t be stupid. Don’t date crazy people. Is your boyfriend crazy? Access the situation before you make any sudden moves. Is he a jealous, malicious, drug-addict? Is he one of those frat boy douche-bags that’s gonna show all his friends because deep down he has a small dick and feels insecure about it? Really dig deep within yourself and make sure you have these questions answered before you do something like this.
As far as poses go, I’ve got them down to a fucking science, and I am never sharing my secrets.