Ask A Bouncer And A Blonde is a daily column providing advice on life, love, work, sex, relationships, fun and anything else people can conjure up the nerve to ask. Each question is answered independently by a Bouncer and a Blonde, each with their own unique and often caustic, perspective. You can submit questions at aabaab.blog@gmail.com.

 

The Blonde has been a blonde for almost twelve of her twenty-four years. She always makes herself the center of attention, yet never gets enough of it. The more attention she gets, the more outrageously she is likely to respond.

Even the bouncer will admit that she’s actually pretty savvy. She’s used to being hustled constantly, so her bullshit detector is deadly accurate. And she is an expert at getting people to do whatever she wants.

An advice column is just another attention-seeking effort for her, but she’s good at it.

 

The Bouncer has been a bouncer for long enough to have seen it all. He’s bounced at major concert events, private celebrity parties, and the corner bar.

He’s seen every imaginable game being run, and he sees your type everyday. He knows exactly what you are up to.

Giving out advice amuses him, but he doesn’t really care what you think. Well, maybe a little.