My Roommate is Constantly Having Sex With Her Boyfriend. What do I do?

When I first met my dorm roommate, we got along really well. She asked if it was okay to have guys over and I said yes – little did I know, she meant have the same guy over every single night. It’s like I have two roommates, and she’s always crying and complaining about him, not to mention the worst part: they have sex ALL the time. They don’t take any consideration as to whether I’m in the room or not. I hate having to listen to it. I’ve grown to love her, but can’t stand this anymore. What do I do?

In the wise words of my grandfather, “College is all about listening to other people have sex.” Or maybe he was talking about the army, I forget now. Anyway, college IS all about leaving the shelter of your parent’s home, experiencing new and different things, and meeting new, and often strange, people. Your situation is far from unique. One of my college roommates was the goalie on the hockey team and he had his girlfriend stay over every damn night. At first it was a little weird, but eventually it just become such a normal part of life that when people asked who my roommates were, I’d mention both of them without thinking.

I could give you advice about growing some balls and saying enough is enough. About putting your foot down and demanding boundaries. Like saying she can only have him over during weekends or whatever. But honestly, that will just have you swimming against the current. Personally, I think you should go with the flow. Embrace college life for what it is and check this off as one of those experiences. And instead of bitching about it, go out and find your own guy and have all the crazy loud obnoxious sex you can.

Someday, sooner than you think, this whole college experience will be behind you. You’ll get married. You’ll have kids. You’ll be stuck at home, changing diapers, cleaning up kid vomit, and ordering random shit online so you can look forward to the highlight of your day: having the UPS guy come to the door to drop off a package. So for now, don’t get all angry and upset. Shit can only bother you if you let it. Don’t fume and make yourself miserable. Think of the big picture and laugh about it. Then find your own guy and have some fun. And since I know our male reader’s will chide me if I don’t mention it, you could always offer to experiment with a three-way. I’m pretty sure her boyfriend won’t mind.

 

In situations like this, it’s every man (or woman) for themselves. You move into college, and god knows who they’re gonna pair you up with. Sometimes you get lucky and end up with some straight-edge, O.C.D. toilet paper eater who minds their own business and spends most of their time away from the dorm, over-excercising. Other times, you don’t get so lucky. In your case it sounds like you ended up with the dumb, slutty girl who has no self-respect and comes with a bonus- a piece of shit boyfriend.

So, what do you do? Crawl in bed every night, stick your head under the covers and bear witness to throes of passion three inches away from your face? Do you simply avoid your dorm as much as possible, leaving the two shitheads to their own dirty love fest? No. No you don’t I say. This dorm is fifty percent yours, remember that.

It sounds to me that as much as you hate this chick for what she’s doing, you also consider her partially your friend. There is no way to simply “get around” a situation like this. Neither of them will “get the hint”, and even if they do, it’s obvious that they don’t respect themselves, or you, enough to care. Next time this girl brings up her boyfriend, tell that bitch OFF. Be as respectful as possible, but be stern. Tell her you have had enough. NO ONE should have to suffer through trying to fall asleep to people fucking two feet away. The fact that this girl and her boyfriend even think that’s acceptable is beyond me. You have got to just tell her how you feel. Tell her you won’t stand for it anymore. Tell her if she wants to have sex with her boyfriend she better find a time to do it when you are NOT there.

This girl probably doesn’t expect you to say anything to her since you haven’t already. She probably thinks she is getting away with murder. Do not let her. This is your house too, woman.

If you DO talk to her and she doesn’t respect what you have to say, I’d highly recommend getting a team of four black guys to come gangbang you on a night when she has a final in the morning.

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